There is a history of referring to people who have made major changes in their lives as "born-again;" the usage afaik (without looking it up or anything so this is pretty apocryphal) came mostly from "born-again Christians," mostly evangelicals.
This seemed like a weird metaphor to me last night, so I thought I might consider how well-rounded it is.
Okay so let's take a look at some features that babies have.
-helpless
-stupid
-believe anything you tell them
-need their diapers changed
-can't speak any language
-don't know how to get to sleep
-ready to grow
-adorable until they start pooping
-not much hair
-it's VERY bad to have a romantic attachment to them
-you can steal candy from them easily
-they have a long life in front of them and lots of potential
-innocent
okay that should be enough for now. Now let's see how a "born-again" person compares!
-someone born-again has just made major changes in their own life, which they are happy with. This isn't very helpless.
-I'll try not to tackle the issue of whether "born-agains" are stupid directly.
-"born-agains" may have just been converted to a religion, so perhaps they are overly credulous
-as recent converts, "born-agains" may have memetic immune system weaknesses, and need to be told which parts of a religion to pay attention to (thou shalt not kill) and which not to (stone adulterers)
-I'd think that after undergoing an enlightenment-style revelation you would have an easy time sleeping, not a hard time
-I would think that a "rebirth" would come after a period of growth, but entering a new community gives you new opportunities to get ahead.
-older members of the religion may be happy about new converts, until the memetic immune weaknesses require "diaper changes"
-okay putting "not much hair" or "really small" would be silly nitpicking, I admit it.
-it may be hard for people from the "born-agains'" "past life" to maintain their romantic attachment, or they may need to find a new partner who subscribes to the same religion. But I hardly think that's a vicious social stigma. This may also be nitpicking
-when Jehovah's Witnesses (I think?) go door to door, they always go in pairs with one less-experienced partner to make the pitch and a more-experienced partner to catch them if they get a vicious militant atheist or something. So there are practices in place to prevent recent converts from having candy stolen from them, this makes it seem likely that they're vulnerable to it
-I can't really speak to the "long life ahead of them bit" since I'm not particularly familiar with the demographics. Of course that hasn't stopped my wild speculation so far, so I suppose that if you start believing in an afterlife that's the real for realzies one this time that you're totally getting into with all the cool kids that's kind of like having a long life ahead of you
-I don't know that there's any sense in which "born-agains" are innocent, although perhaps naive I could get behind.
Well I originally thought that this would be a terrible metaphor that fell apart easily. But going through my lists it seems like there are a lot of similarities between "born-agains" and "born-for-the-first-times." I don't know that they're terribly flattering, and I will continue to snidely giggle at and steal candy from anyone I meet who claims be be born-again, but I won't object to their comparison of themselves with a helpless, pathetic pile of poopy diapers and whining.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Bottling Things Up
I was having a conversation with my most recent ex (do I use more metaphors with exes or just remember them better?) where I was talking about my feelings being bottled up, and at one point in our relationship there was a release, but I had an extra bottle inside my first bottle. So here it goes on that analogy.
Everyone knows the analogy of bottling up your feelings. When you bottle up soda, and you shake it up with life, then eventually you take the cap off and it explodes out (especially if you add mentos, the freshmaker!) which is why you shouldn't bottle up your feelings you should let them out and find outlets.
The thing is, I had a couple of layers of bottled up. So at one point, when we both found an outlet, it was much more of an outlet for her than me, so I added a second bottle. Now imagine if you have a large water bottle with a smaller one inside. Now it's going to be hard to get the smaller bottle open; you have to reach it through the mouth of the larger bottle. And that means you definitely need to have the larger bottle open; you have to deal with some feelings before you can deal with all of them. And of course if it's filled with water that'll be hard, but if you're dumping water out it's upside down and hard to reach in. So you need to have dealt with the first layer of feelings before you can really reach the second layer (and by induction...). Of course, imagine trying to pour water out of a bottle with a bottle inside of it. The smaller bottle would clog up the first! So it would be extra hard to even clear the first layer of feelings and take multiple attempts.
Now hopefully now that I've developed this strong set of tools for reaching into partially filled bottles of feelings and uncapping further bottles of feelings like nested Russian dolls that will make it easier for me to let my feelings out in the future. Of course, only time will tell.
Everyone knows the analogy of bottling up your feelings. When you bottle up soda, and you shake it up with life, then eventually you take the cap off and it explodes out (especially if you add mentos, the freshmaker!) which is why you shouldn't bottle up your feelings you should let them out and find outlets.
The thing is, I had a couple of layers of bottled up. So at one point, when we both found an outlet, it was much more of an outlet for her than me, so I added a second bottle. Now imagine if you have a large water bottle with a smaller one inside. Now it's going to be hard to get the smaller bottle open; you have to reach it through the mouth of the larger bottle. And that means you definitely need to have the larger bottle open; you have to deal with some feelings before you can deal with all of them. And of course if it's filled with water that'll be hard, but if you're dumping water out it's upside down and hard to reach in. So you need to have dealt with the first layer of feelings before you can really reach the second layer (and by induction...). Of course, imagine trying to pour water out of a bottle with a bottle inside of it. The smaller bottle would clog up the first! So it would be extra hard to even clear the first layer of feelings and take multiple attempts.
Now hopefully now that I've developed this strong set of tools for reaching into partially filled bottles of feelings and uncapping further bottles of feelings like nested Russian dolls that will make it easier for me to let my feelings out in the future. Of course, only time will tell.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Relationships and Cheese Samplers
I once got into a fight with an ex-girlfriend because I loved this analogy she made so much that I forgot to respond to what she was saying.
She said that she felt like an apple slice on a cheese sampler--rather than one of the cheeses.
I do think that cheese samplers are a very nice metaphor for relationships. There is a sense in which you want to taste several before settling on a favorite. There is a definite need to have time between relationships, sort of apple slices, to clear your head and remember who you are that is liking this cheese and not just compare the cheeses to each other but to your own tastes. Just like many people settle down early and haven't confirmed how well they get along with their spouse, many people settle for cheeses like Parmesan and cheddar when they could have Romano and Colby jack. A cheese's taste isn't the only important factor; different cheeses go well with different wines and meats and crackers, and some may be unreasonably expensive. Similarly a person may be a good partner in some ways, but not others. Sexual compatibility, being supportive of your current life decisions, or even financial support for someone returning to school may be powerful influences of whether a relationship works. Some cheeses, like Gouda, are acquired tastes; just as are some people. It may feel like you need to be on the right cracker or paired with the right wine if you get along with someone in one context but not others.
And of course, as my ex was trying to tell me at the time, you can also feel like an apple. Like you aren't part of the purpose, like you're a generic stopping point, not one of the flavors to be tasted.
Apple slices are important. Many people like apples more than cheese! But in the context of this metaphor it's a sad place to be. And as much as I love this metaphor it's a bittersweet memory because of how poorly I handled it at the time.
She said that she felt like an apple slice on a cheese sampler--rather than one of the cheeses.
I do think that cheese samplers are a very nice metaphor for relationships. There is a sense in which you want to taste several before settling on a favorite. There is a definite need to have time between relationships, sort of apple slices, to clear your head and remember who you are that is liking this cheese and not just compare the cheeses to each other but to your own tastes. Just like many people settle down early and haven't confirmed how well they get along with their spouse, many people settle for cheeses like Parmesan and cheddar when they could have Romano and Colby jack. A cheese's taste isn't the only important factor; different cheeses go well with different wines and meats and crackers, and some may be unreasonably expensive. Similarly a person may be a good partner in some ways, but not others. Sexual compatibility, being supportive of your current life decisions, or even financial support for someone returning to school may be powerful influences of whether a relationship works. Some cheeses, like Gouda, are acquired tastes; just as are some people. It may feel like you need to be on the right cracker or paired with the right wine if you get along with someone in one context but not others.
And of course, as my ex was trying to tell me at the time, you can also feel like an apple. Like you aren't part of the purpose, like you're a generic stopping point, not one of the flavors to be tasted.
Apple slices are important. Many people like apples more than cheese! But in the context of this metaphor it's a sad place to be. And as much as I love this metaphor it's a bittersweet memory because of how poorly I handled it at the time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)