Relationships and Cheese Samplers

I once got into a fight with an ex-girlfriend because I loved this analogy she made so much that I forgot to respond to what she was saying.

She said that she felt like an apple slice on a cheese sampler--rather than one of the cheeses.

I do think that cheese samplers are a very nice metaphor for relationships. There is a sense in which you want to taste several before settling on a favorite. There is a definite need to have time between relationships, sort of apple slices, to clear your head and remember who you are that is liking this cheese and not just compare the cheeses to each other but to your own tastes. Just like many people settle down early and haven't confirmed how well they get along with their spouse, many people settle for cheeses like Parmesan and cheddar when they could have Romano and Colby jack. A cheese's taste isn't the only important factor; different cheeses go well with different wines and meats and crackers, and some may be unreasonably expensive. Similarly a person may be a good partner in some ways, but not others. Sexual compatibility, being supportive of your current life decisions, or even financial support for someone returning to school may be powerful influences of whether a relationship works. Some cheeses, like Gouda, are acquired tastes; just as are some people. It may feel like you need to be on the right cracker or paired with the right wine if you get along with someone in one context but not others.

And of course, as my ex was trying to tell me at the time, you can also feel like an apple. Like you aren't part of the purpose, like you're a generic stopping point, not one of the flavors to be tasted.

Apple slices are important. Many people like apples more than cheese! But in the context of this metaphor it's a sad place to be. And as much as I love this metaphor it's a bittersweet memory because of how poorly I handled it at the time.